ellymelly’s fanfiction

“The curiosity of unaccounted time is little more than a deep, creeping silence awaiting inevitable disturbance…”

AND I’M SORRY May 26, 2008

Filed under: And I'm Sorry,Battlestar Galactica — ellymelly @ 3:43 am
Tags: , , , ,

Summary: There’s not time for everything at the end of the world.
Rating: T
Category: Ficlets&Drabbles, Romance
Characters: None
Genres: Angst
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Wordcount: 683 Read Count: 325

The world of Caprica still burned behind his eyes every time sleep claimed him. Almost a year ago, though somehow it would always be yesterday to him. Bill had not been there to feel the bombs rip the ground from the sky, or lift his head and let the hot ash fall across his face – those things came to him long after the world grew cold.

A photograph in someone’s locker – on his desk, they were all reminders and kindled the fire until the glow grew and followed them further and further. Every step into the darkness of space was followed by the sky of a lost world rushing to meet the curve of his earth.

Another night – more dreams. Sometimes Bill wished he could sort through them, analyse them – separate the tangle of emotions from one another and simply drift amongst those that hinted of a hope.

Even if the world had ended.

And hope may never have existed.

But sometimes you have to have something to believe in. For Admiral Adama, it was hope. And right at this moment – it was Laura Roslin.

If it was too late, when she struggled to say his name and tilt her head to smile, if it was too late to say he loved her – then he was sorry.

So sorry.

But there isn’t time for everything at the end of the world. That was something that everyone learnt the hard way.

Days that no longer are, shifted to bring him comfort when the bitterness of truth refused to let go. A week ago they sat close, the rain falling around them. Rivers formed on mountains built in myth atop a world that shouldn’t have existed. She smiles – and he looks away.

And if it was then that he should have said that he loved her – then he was sorry.

So sorry.

There’s not enough time for everything when fear speeds up the hands of the gods.

He spends far too many months hating her – thinking about misunderstood betrayal and wondering if it had been inevitable all along. Something about the way she comes alive when they fight, it makes him believe the lies he’s told about life and hope and another time waiting for them at the end of the world.

Bill stands aside as the bars cross between them – and if that was the moment to tell her that he loved her then he was sorry. So sorry. There just wasn’t time.

Yesterday the world ended. A newly instated President of the Colonies brushes him off as she turns to greet his son. She out ranks him – and knows it. Bill wonders how long the Secretary of Education will survive when the darkness sets in and the adrenaline runs thin. Perhaps it won’t matter if they don’t see another day.

Laura stands next to him and the faintest hint of burnt Sandalwood brushes his senses – confuses him and makes him forget about yesterday.

But the world has ended, and there’s no time.

*~*

Laura stirred in her shallow sleep. Bill sat beside her bed, watching quietly. Cottle said it wouldn’t be long now.

He remembers the day they de-commissioned the Galactica, and there she was, like something from another life. A politician – he hated politicians but he’d never met one with legs like this. An old Commander suddenly felt the jolt of teenage adolescence fire through him. She notices him and smiles; flicks back her hair and disappears down one of his corridors-

Bill remembers that the same woman is sleeping next to him now. He lifts a hand to sweep a dark strand of hair aside, laying it gently on the pillow. She moves again, still alive – still fighting.

Bill closes his eyes – another world disappears.

“Laura,” he says, looking at her now as he meant to all those times before, “Laura, I’m sorry.”

He leans in to place a gently kiss on her forehead, “So sorry.”

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