Summary: This boarders on pointless smut and was the result of Gateworld. Obviously, warnings of ridiculous amounts of smut with MULTIPLE pairings, ie – if you don’t want to hear or know about baltar – zarek – etc DON’T COME RUNNING TO ME BECAUSE I TOLD YOU SO.
Rating: MA
Category: PWP, Romance, Humour
Characters: None
Genres: Humour, Romance, Smut
Wordcount: 7377 Read Count: 2188

Chapter One: Bats and Rats

Time spent on Kobol: 4 hours and 38 minutes.
Weather: Disgusting – don’t talk to me about it.
Irritating People Nearby: All of them, we just landed.
Situation So Far: Lost, delirious from Chamalla and frakking sick of the frakking rain.

Time Since Last Frak: SEVEN MONTHS (don’t talk to me – I will make sure you suffer).

__________________________________________________

President Laura Roslin sighed as heavily as she could, not bothering to divert the stream of water currently making its way over her glasses – rendering her practically blind. After all the spectacle and show and “oh my gods look, we’re going to defy the Admiral and go to Kobol and find earth” fiasco – all they’d managed to achieve so far was a few miles through Kobolian undergrowth. They were semi-lost, (not that they were ready to admit that yet) and about to head up hill of all things.

This was not something the President was looking forward to. If she had known, she would have stolen a pair of boots.

Needless to say, the initial excitement had worn off. Relentless down pours made nothing but the most primitive communication possible. And to that point, Laura found the manner in which that terrorist tried to catch her attention totally inappropriate yet wildly ‘bad-thought’ inspiring. It was all in the way he stayed a pace and a half behind her – two paces and that was civil, one pace and it was like, ‘room already please!’ But one and a half – that was the genius of it, he was just close enough to stumble into every now and then.

If only he hadn’t worn leather.

Irrational hatred was her only defense for the situation, and she was standing by that wisdom. That didn’t mean she couldn’t look though. It made the rain bearable – just.

On the subject of frustrating men, Laura couldn’t help but wonder if the Admiral had come to his senses yet. Flirting briefly at the prospect of him chasing after her she firmly reminded herself that he was yet another male in the long list that she currently wasn’t speaking to because of their previous, undeniable male stupidity.

She also wondered if he wore leather occasionally.

Back to irrational hatred.

“Uh – oh frak!” Laura, distracted by a mind that wouldn’t shut up, accidentally misjudged the upward slope in front of her and felt her body hit the ground – then, much against her will, begin to slide down the grassy path. Her hands flailed, searching for something to grab onto. They hit various useless plant shoots that bent and fell through her hands, once her foot hit a small branch but that wasn’t much use and just as she was about to pre-order a new Cylon body to cover the damages – a hand appeared from nowhere and her motion stopped.

It was Zarek, the frakking terrorist.

“Woah there Madame President.”

If he didn’t wipe that smug look of his face before she regained her balance The President was going to do something incredibly childish – like push him into the mud.

“Going somewhere?” Zarek smiled annoyingly.

“Go frak a tree.” she snapped back, her mood darkening as the mud deepened several layers over her skin.

He let go of her once he was sure she was stable, raising his hands in innocence, “Just looking out for our one true prophet.”

Laura glared at him something shocking – Zarek was sure that this was the beginning of one of her famous, ‘frak the world I’m the President of the known universe – deal with it!’ moods… Which meant that she was about to become irresistibly attractive. For now though, self protection was at an all time high so he gave her a an extra pace of space. Good thing he didn’t go too far away though, much to the President’s disgust, he had to catch her twice more before they reached the top.

Upon reaching the summit, most of the party became overcome by the desire to launch themselves off into the abyss for it seemed that instead of climbing up the hill that went nowhere, they could have in fact gone around. Failing to end their existence, the next logical train of thought was to rip the guide to pieces.

“You knew this was a dead end! How ‘come you let us climb all the way up here just to climb all the way down?” Lee was so exhausted and pissed off that he clean forgot he had a weapon to brandish if he wanted to really make an impression on the Cylon. Sharon remained unmoved.

“You asked if this was the right direction, and I said yes. It was you who neglected to ask whether or not this was the fasted, easiest route.”

Lee desperately tried to think of an intelligent response, one hand resting on his belt and the other pointing at random. “You – well, I – FRAK!”

“On the brighter side,” continued Sharon, ignoring the incoherent mutterings from Lee, “now you can really get a good look of the lay of the land.”

Roslin detached herself from where Zarek had saved her – yet again – from a nasty fall. Frak-a-doodle-joy

If she had taken a moment to think about the situation, it was really quite extraordinary. They were actually standing on the planet that most children spent their better days darting in and out its legend. Home of the gods – and so far all the best bits were real. The Arrow of Apollo. ‘Tick’ found that. Planet – ‘big tick’, she was defiantly sure that was real. As Sharon continued speaking and pointing to various places around the landscape Laura managed to tick several more things off her list. It should have been a great moment, yet all she could think was – this is the Kobol from the scriptures? What a frakking let down. The least the gods could have done is arrange some decent weather but no they’d rather sit on their mountain and watch the poor insects squirm about in the mud.

But maybe it was just a bad day and the gods in question were in the mood for magnifying glasses.

__________________________________________________

Time spent on Kobol: 9 hours and 12 minutes.
Weather: WORSE!
Irritating People Nearby: One particularly close. Much too close. Make note to have irritating person airlocked.
Situation So Far: Really lost. Really sick of the frakking rain.

Time Since Last Frak: SEVEN MONTHS 9 hours, 12 minutes, 36 seconds (and counting).
__________________________________________________

They were now knee deep in water attempting to cross what was probably once a casual mountain stream. Now it was more of a raging torrent catching hold of their water logged legs, threatening to drag them off one by one down the riverbed and off the moss lined cliffs of a nearby waterfall. Everything that wasn’t essential to travel had been strapped or packed into their backpacks then covered with military ponchos. It didn’t do much good though, the rain was so thick they could scarce tell where the stream ended and the oxygen began.

If matters could at all be worse, the stones were only loosely packed together. With every second step their polished surfaces gave way and your foot sank deep into the bed, off balancing the poor soul. Unconsciously, they were all holding hands, using each other as a support network and in this delicate configuration they managed to span the river in a spider web motion, traversing it successfully.

“Alright,” Laura raised her voice through the down pour, “let’s take a break.”

There was little disagreement on the matter, some individuals falling to the ground before she’d even finished speaking. Bloody ex-cons, where was their stamina?

‘Oh here we go again, just what I don’t need’ thought Laura as Zarek approached again. Damn him, what on Kobol was the fascination? She always did her best to be brutally awful to him, yet here he was. Persistent little rodent – “What can I do for you this time?” she managed in a rare moment of civility. It was wasted on him though, Zarek didn’t seem to be interested in playing games this time.

“I think I lost my kit out of my backpack in that stream back there and I have this nasty cut.” he held up a bloodied hand to confirm the dialogue’s truth. What was she, his mother now?

“So go see the medic.”

“We didn’t bring one.”

“Oh.” Whoops she knew she’d forgotten something in the rush, breaking out of jail and running for you life tended to do that to you and – was he, pouting? Oh she did not have time for this.

Reluctantly she dug out her medkit – resurrecting it from its safe location, holding it out in his general direction.

He didn’t take it.

“Hello? Zarek – it’s a one time offer that’s soon to expire.”

He still didn’t relieve her of the medkit.

“Madame President – Laura, uh – ” Zarek stuttered, not sure how far he could test his luck with the woman – especially in the rain, the rain made her worse.

“Out with it Zarek, I haven’t got all day to spend basking in you brilliance.”

“It’s just – I can’t possibly fix it myself, would you mind?”

Would she mind – would she mind alright. Laura really didn’t have time for this but out of the goodness of her heart she spent the next ten minutes with a poncho slung between them – repairing the terrorist so he could live to pillage another day.

The things she did for some peace.

______________________________________________

Chapter Two: Frak This

Chapter Three: So Long Dark Day

Time spent thinking up punishments for the Ex-President: 22 hours and 04 minutes.
Plan Progress: Drawn – proof read – altered slightly by Gaeta – initiated.
Irritating People Nearby: Four.
Location: Raptor entering Kobol’s atmosphere.
Number of times the President’s naked image has appeared: 27 – okay, frak stop asking me, it only makes it worse!

“Sir – if you don’t mind me asking – “

The Commander of the fleet lowered his eyes in suspicion at Tyrol, “Yes Chief?”

“Well,” he started cautiously, keenly aware of the fragile state of the Commander’s mind and the effect a certain President in red lingerie had on it, “are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Are you questioning my awesome plan?”

“Sorry?” The Chief widened his eyes – he didn’t hear that last bit right. The Commander calmly repeated his last line.

“Are you questioning my ability as Commander to evade a few straggling Cylons, find a mythical tomb and recover a medium sized group of religious nuts including a Cylon, mentally challenged terrorist, rogue president, priest thing and a few of my own offspring?”

The Chief thought carefully about this for a moment, “Uh – no sir. Of course not sir.” Images of a smoldering crash site and largish army of Cylons marched through his front lobe, “Sorry sir.”

“Excellent.”

“Sir, you should prepare for landing. It’s going to be pretty rough.” The pilot gripped the stick hard as the fragile plane was thrown left sharply and then dropped suddenly as it passed through a low pressure system in the upper atmosphere. Adama prepared.

___________________________________________________________________

Time spent on Kobol: 26 hours and 12 minutes.
Weather: I’m wetter than a sub-ictherian sea lion – go figure…
Irritating People Nearby: One in danger of defaulting on life.
Situation So Far: Trekking through non-flat terrain.
Time Since Last Frak: Don’t go there, I know I can’t.
Passes Made By Zarek: Many .

They trekked, and they trekked and they trekked some more back through the Kobolian forest that was gradually getting wetter as the afternoon dragged on. The Cylon led the pack, weaving in and out of the dense covering closely followed by her human lover that struggled to keep pace on the slippery ground. A very untrustworthy and suspicious prisoner kept close tail with them, stumbling every now and then on an uneasy ankle. Lee fell back into a strategic position behind the Priest who was clearly not coping under the conditions. Reading about Kobol was one thing, surviving it was another altogether, and on that thought Lee clutched his weapon through his soaked uniform, keeping watch on a very unhappy President trailed by one irritating terrorist.

“Zarek, could you stop trailing me like a lost ant please.”

The Zarek in question surreptitiously fell a step back, “I wasn’t.”

Laura was really beginning to wish that she had never had the magnificent idea of popping a few Chamalla pills before venturing down onto the surface of the planet. For one thing, it made the real world blur a little with a completely different and imaginary one. If it wasn’t snakes curling around important press podiums it was Leoban popping out from behind the odd tree or various members of her species taking on the subtleties of her subconscious. At this moment, Zarek looked so odd that she thought he might sprout antennas.

“Whatever.” she breathed, ducking to avoid another winged bottle of Ambrosia. Laura couldn’t help but think that she was really going to have to do something about this drug habit. She drew a very firm line at prolonged hallucinations. Intermittent ones she could deal with – the beady insect face of an ant like Zarek cleaning his feeler – she was having issues with.

“How much further is this temple of yours?” he asked, rolling on a few stones and catching hold of a nearby tree trunk to steady himself.

“Uh – ” she took off her glasses, unable to see anything through them anyway, “I have no idea. Pythia wasn’t exactly detailed on the fine print.”

“Helpful.”

A sharp whistle pierced through the rain and the group stopped. Sharon had brought everyone to a stop at the base of another unpleasant looking mountain pass and the group congregated at its base.

“Why have we stopped?” said Laura, wiping her glasses and putting them away. Sharon pointed up at the overgrown slopes ahead and a worn track barely visible under a freshly formed river.

“The track leads up there – “

“Up there!” Moaned Lee, water soaking through his boots as he stood in the shallow river. Starbuck poked him sharply in the ribs.

“The Pythia scrolls speak of this path – we must follow it.”

Laura eyed the Priest trying to remember the three reasons she had for bringing her along. It was a rule of hers, everyone needed three reasons to be brought along on any expedition for example;

Lee Adama:
Reason One: Strong – fit, excellent to look at and potentially helpful in a conflict scenario.
Reason Two: It’s always better to have two children – at least they can play together.
Reason Three: It would serious peeve the Commander.

“The Pythia scrolls speak of this path – we must follow it! mocked Starbuck as the group shifted. Larua narrowed her eyes sternly at the small child…

After a while the group agreed to follow the path across the hills despite the dangerous slips on the near vertical terrain as it wound roughly about. The rain intensified and the shallow stream became a knee deep torrent as they began the long road toward the Temple of Athena.

_______________________________________________________________________

Time spent thinking up punishments for the Ex-President: 22 hours and 56 minutes.
Time spent on Kobol: 3 minutes of blissful existence!
Plan Progress: Ready to engage in pursuit.
Irritating People Nearby: Still four.
Location: Surface of the Kobol planet.
New Presidential Fantasies: 1 very very good one.

The group stood beside the Raptor looking across the flat expanse of the ruined city and over towards a treacherous mountain range trailing across over to the distance cliffs. The ground was deep with water but the rain clouds above seemed to have run dry for the moment. It was a beautiful sight ahead of them where the moisture soaked air was caught by casual sun beams, striking the droplets and separating into a coloured arch that hit the ground in the distance.

“I think we need to work on our definitions of rough.” said Adama to the pilot who nodded – remembering the near death experience.

Billy sat on the med kit – not looking the hottest.

“Are you going to be okay?”

Billy didn’t answer the Commander right away. He took another small breath and closed his eyes, “Just give me a minute.”

“Some ride!” said the Chief, unpacking another create. He spent his life around things that flied but it wasn’t often that he got to break atmosphere.

“How much of that stuff are we taking with us?”

The Chief looked at the pile and then back to the Raptor – “All of it…?”

Adama narrowed his eyes. “Pick up every weapon you can carry and Billy, you take the med kit – I’ve got the Pythia thing, let’s go.”

“But sir – what about the cameras, you know, in case we find this thing.”

“Eyes and ears Chief – eyes and ears.”

The sky opened up above the rainbow where it had been pouring and let the sun flood in as the second group set off into Kobol. The Commander smiled, looking out on the scene once more, swearing that he saw a flash of gold among the low mountain peaks.

________________________________________________________

Time spent on Kobol: 26 hours and 17 minutes.
Weather: Stunning. Simply frakking stunning.
Irritating People Nearby: It’s more of a line of
Situation So Far: Starring.
Time Since Last Frak: A while – kind of looking toward next frak.
Health Check: Currently suffering from drug induced visions and severe separation anxiety from airlock.

The group stood amazed starring at the beautiful arch of colour in the distance, a rainbow stretching over the low lying grassland below them. A strange noise overhead had caught their attention – it was a deep rumble permeating through the air born waterfall and as they turned they were caught like moths to the silken webs of spiders. And then – and then the rain stopped and the clouds above them let a little of the unknown star’s light in and deepened the purples and brighten the yellows.

It was beautiful – the first beauty that had brought them to pause in a long time.

“Lords of Kobol.” whispered the priest, performing a blessing.

“Planet’s got a little colour – well frak me.” Starbuck pulled out the Arrow of Apollo and held up to the light, the tiny embedded gems sparkled obediently.

“It looks more impressive in the light.”

“Older too.” quipped Starbuck, prodding Lee gently with the blunt end of ‘his’ arrow.

“Ow.”

Laura jumped as she felt Zarek’s feeler on her shoulder – as she turned, she was relieved to find it was only hand. The Chamalla was starting to lose its grip. “Madame President – perhaps we should take advantage of the weather and keep going.”

They continued up the mountain side in the growing warmth. Steam rose from the ground around them and just as their clothes started to dry – dampened them again. The track alternated from dangerous cliff passes to thick forest trails down the depressions that pock-marked the ranges. They found that in the growing humidity they had to stop regularly to drink and within the next two hours their progress had slowed to the pace of the monsoon before.

Laura’s head began to pound – a mix of the heat and the withdrawal symptoms. She could feel the little condition she had left on her falling off and the moisture in the air intoxicate her. Clutching the Pythian scrolls they continued along the path silently, settled into a caravan stumbling through the old world. Things continued this way until the Priest stopped and pointed into the undergrowth beside the path – a black stone protruded, no larger than a foot or so high.

“Tombstones.” said Sharon, shivering – the thought of real death still un-nerved her programming.

“The scrolls say the path to the temple is lined with gravestones.” The Priest looked around and more black shapes seemed to jump out of the vegetation around them, tombstones lining the path -

“It’s all true.” Whispered Zarek.

Laura wanted to say, like duh but figured that that wouldn’t be very presidential.

The pace picked up as they leapt from one stone to the next, the group finding new strength in the encouraging land markers.

And then their was an icy ‘click’ – a foot lifting in fright, and a piece of metal flying silently through the air.

Chapter Four: Zarek Must Die

Time spent on Kobol: 26 hours and 19 minutes.
Weather: *The weather report is temporarily unavailable while impending death is dealt with*
Irritating People Nearby: Soon to be a few less.
Situation So Far: Oh holy frakking shit…
Time Since Last Frak: Oh HOURS now… Need another one.
Health Check: Chamalla wearing off, need to find some more.

The metal cylinder fell through the air – reaching the peak of its height, pausing momentarily, before beginning a swift flight back to Kobol’s surface. The priest lifted her foot off the trigger, the only movement she had time for.

Lee dived on the President bringing her crashing down to the muddy surface, covering her while the explosion sent shards of metal and plant material firing through the undergrowth. The sound echoed off the valley walls and up the forest covered cliff above them.

This is not good thought Laura as rocks dislodged themselves and came tumbling down on top of them quickly followed by the mechanical sounds of Cylon Centurions. Oh so very not good. Lee rolled off her and drew out his gun, spinning quickly to fire at one particularly close by. Suddenly there was gun fire everywhere and the remains of a religious leader dripping from the lush flora as the bullets ripped across the air.

Laura didn’t get it – she was trying to be a good citizen of the newly annihilated human race and all she’d been given in return so far was a life threatening scenario and a sleazy terrorist who was actually looking pretty hot as he withdrew his gun and turned to fire on an approaching Cylon that just happened to be aiming at her head. If he kept this up she might have to start another tally – or consider a really hot forest frak… Laura stored the thought for later as she ducked to avoid another gun shot.

“Motherfrakker!” she yelled, getting up to inspect her snow jacket, “This’ll just never be water proof again.” She slid her fingers through the gaping hole and glowered.

___________________________________________________

Time spent thinking up punishments for the Ex-President: 22 hours and 59 minutes.
Time spent on Kobol: 6 minutes.
Plan Progress: Paused at the sound of gunfire.
Irritating People Nearby: Four – but my weapon is out now, that makes me feel better.
Location: Trekking across Kobols wonderful muddy grassland.
New Presidential Fantasies: A very distressing one where she dies and it’s all my fault.

Bill held his gun high as he looked toward the mountain range. Though his eyes weren’t as sharp as they used to be, he could still make out the flickers of white and orange amongst the greenery.

“There’s a hell of a fight up there sir.” said Tyrol, moving up to join Adama at point. “Sounds like Centurion fire.”

“And Human – stock issue eight I believe.”

“That’s Viper pilot sidearm, it must be them.”

The Commander thought for a moment, listening to the shots slip through the unexpected downpour. They needed to go. “Let’s go everybody. Billy – “

Billy glanced wearily at the admiral, dropping the med kit to catch the gun thrown at him. He swore.

“My personal inform me that you already know how to use one of these.” He was referring to the time when the president escaped jail and Billy had been taught the basics by Dualla. Bill had made a note to prepare a very tedious and boring roster for her as punishment for helping a conspirator to the very sexy – currently in danger ex (soon to be not ex) president. Billy held the weapon away from himself, sliding the safety off then back on again to prove a point.

__________________________________________________

Time spent on Kobol: 26 hours and 34 minutes.
Weather: Pouring – what a surprise.
Irritating People Nearby: Minus one.
Situation So Far: Alive *shock*
Time Since Last Frak: Ages, I’m thinking it’s time for a comfort frak.
Health Check: Chamalla absent from system. Extreme headache made worse by the blood all over my shiny white jacket.

Laura knelt over what was left of the priest. A large streak of blood had dried on her forehead where a piece of shrapnel had lodged itself. Frak thought Laura, what were they going to do now? She’d only brought the scary religious preacher along so that when they found the temple she wouldn’t have to work out what to do. Now with the priest gone, Laura was officially the most qualified religious expert on Kobol. Not that that was hard, mind you. I mean, the other choices weren’t really much of a challenge, unless you counted the Cylon… But Laura wasn’t at the point where she was counting Cylons as ‘people’ so…

“Madame President – we need to go.” Lee bent down and she felt his hands grip her shoulders.

Lee is so hot, she thought to herself, why does he have to have a pain in the ass – equally attractive father? Laura cried, picking up the tattered Book of Pythia. “Life’s not fair!” she sobbed. Allowing herself to be led away by the god of bodily greatness.

The pack walked on and the terrain got harder to handle. The trail to the temple took them all along the spine of the mountain range which ducked, turned and fell sharply without warning. Adding this to the water that poured down from the sky and you were left with a pretty tragic looking bunch of humans and Cylon clambering about. Laura stopped as they reached a slightly flatter area, the ground plateau-ing in a circular, grass covered area that still had enough protective cover to hide them from aerial patrols of both the Cylon and Human origin. “Stop – I think we should make camp here.”

“But Madame President – it’s only the afternoon.” said Kara, falling back from the front of the line.

“I know, but I doubt we’ll find a suitable place to camp before nightfall. Squatters can’t be choosers.”

Somewhere off to the side, Zarek bent across to listen to his fellow terrorist who was ranting something about wanting to kill everyone.

“Tom – when are we going to do it? Lee must die and he must die now! You will be Vice President and then Laura will die and then we can rule what’s left of the world.”

Zarek was really beginning to wonder about the company he had been keeping lately. “Steady on, we still need Lee. I will be Vice President soon enough. You are not – under any circumstances, to kill Laura and ‘we’ won’t be ruling the world, ‘I’ will be ruling the world.”

The beady eyed terrorist backed down, “of course, that’s what I meant.”

“Good.” said Tom. Satisfied, he went back to staring at the President’s legs.

“But why can’t Lee die?” repeated the terrorist, he’s eyes hungrily watching Lee help set up the President’s tent. Zarek sighed, this was going to be a long night.

By the time night fell camp had been well and truly set up. The Cylon and her lover had been put tactfully out towards the edge of the camp so that they would be the first to die if anything happened to surprise the mini-settlement during the night. Lee, Starbuck and Zarek had their tents spread in a circle around Laura’s – like a little hub of safety. Well that was the plan anyway. As it turned out, Lee and Starbuck were too busy with each other to be much use and Zarek seemed to make regular visits to the other exiled tent at the far end of the protective circle. No doubt to quell the need for the other terrorist to commit mass murder.

Laura tried to keep herself occupied by reading the Book of Pythia, unfortunately it wasn’t nearly as interesting without the Chamalla. She carefully turned the water logged page to find a huge smear of mud across the page where it must have fallen open. She sighed, wiping the surface carefully with her hand – as if this book wasn’t already hard enough to read in the candle light. Soon after, she gave up on it completely, blowing out the flame next to her and lying down on top of her sleeping bag. This place, Kobol, was muggy and horrible. It reminded her of that vacation Adar had taken her on to Picon. Sure there were beaches and forests but when the air was 98% humidity it made it very hard to continue respiratory functions.

Laura lay there in the darkness for a while. The place had seemed quiet but in the darkness the noises of the planet came alive. The sheer volume of the insect population enough to concern her. Then another sound – that of the flap of her tent falling open. Probably Lee checking back in, she thought. The man was more of a mother hen then Billy and that was saying something.

The person slipped into the tent, closing the flap behind them. An odd thing to do – but Laura didn’t really care. Her head was still complaining about the lack of drug induced padding and she’d caught herself having a sympathy hallucination earlier when tiny wings had appeared on the bottom of Lee’s hiking boots. Laura shook her head – that didn’t happen. She shook it firmly again just to make sure.

When footsteps approached, Laura remembered that she wasn’t alone in her tent…

The rogue president continued to listen, eyes closed in the darkness as the footsteps got closer to her until they stopped and the sound of someone bending to kneel beside her caused her a slight bit of concern. Lee would have spoken by now.

Kara would have whined about Lee by now.

The terrorist would have shot her by now.

They Cylon would have – well, she wasn’t sure exactly what the Cylon would have done.

Anders wouldn’t even be in her tent unless he wanted to die.

Which left…

“What the frak are you doing in my tent ant boy?” she muttered, unsure as to why she had been singled out by the gods as the ‘plaything of the moment’.

“Laura.” He said, in a strangely seductive voice that caused Laura to pause for a moment and consider her next move carefully, resolutely ignoring the curious reaction her body was giving her. It was just the darkness, her brain told her, there was absolutely no way he could be back for another go so soon – nobody was that keen.

She would have believed herself too if the next thing she felt hadn’t been a hand lightly touching her arm. “Laura.” He repeated.

Her eyes flew open this time to find a very pleased looking Zarek staring back. “Ah – ” she began, her eyes falling to where his hand was progress up her arm , “what are you doing?”

He smiled more – if that was possible, and moved in closer to her. She could feel the faintest hint of his warm breath on her as he drew toward her ear, “You know exactly what I’m doing.” He was right – she did know exactly what he was doing and despite herself she hadn’t made the slightest attempt to stop him. By the time his mouth kissed the soft skin of her ear neither was left with much doubt of his intentions.

Laura closed her eyes again as her body began to respond all on its own. The serenity of the tent and the surreal nature of the whole ordeal made her start to forget about everything except Zarek’s hand sliding underneath her jumper. His fingers teased her skin, moving at an unacceptably slow progression – diverting to explore her stomach further then continuing over her rip cage, following the subtle rise and fall of her quickening breath.

His mouth lost interest in her ear, trailing surprisingly affectionate kisses along her neck – breaking contact as their mouths met. Eyes closed, the meeting was more passionate then their last. Against her better judgment, her tongue explored Zarek’s mouth with the same demanding nature as his, their struggle for power in politics matched by their bedroom antics.

The jumper had to go – it was a simple as that. Laura seemed to agree, lifting her head so that he could slip the rough material off her slender figure. Laura laid her head back on the pillow as Zarek broke the deepening kisses to devour the newly exposed skin – Tom thrilled that she hadn’t been wearing a bra.

The rain that had started to pour again masked Laura’s moans of pleasure. Full, swollen drops of water beat down on the tent, growing louder as the downpour got impossibly harder.

When they finally came, it was together – and it was loud. Zarek fell across Laura’s shoulder and there they stayed for the remainder of the evening, the steady shower comforting them as they slept.

______________________________________________

Time spent thinking up punishments for the Ex-President: 31 hours and 23 minutes.
Time spent on Kobol: many hours.
Plan Progress: Taking a necessary nap.
Irritating People Nearby: Four – snoring frakkers…
Location: Sleeping in a leaking tent.
New Presidential Fantasies: One very hot forest frak.

Bill had been sleeping happily, dreaming of presidential legs disappearing beneath forest leaves when all of a sudden he was overcome with the urge to rip Zarek to pieces – but couldn’t quite place why.
He rolled over and stared up at the pitch black above him, they were wasting time just sleeping here. It was time to pack their shit up and go in search of a fantastic pair of legs. Bill shook his head, “in search of the traitors” he said firmly.

TBC