MENSA May 26, 2008

Title: Mensa
Pairing: Sam/Rodney
By: ellymelly
PROMPT CHALLENGE: Mensa sam/rodney

Rodney lent back into his chair until he heard the satisfying ‘clinks’ of his vertebra aligning. In front of him was a folder containing the first ever Atlantian Mensa test.

It took a few minutes for the murmur of the food hall to quiet as the rest of the applicants took up their seats in casual rows facing the large, stain glass windows. Rodney had been amongst the first to arrive, and congratulated himself on having found a shady seat in the front row. It had all the benefits of the view without the drawback of residing in the harsh midday sunlight. All the same, he applied a smear of ‘Coconut Resort’ to his nose, just in case.

Checking the sharpness of his 2B pencil, Mckay adjusted all the items on his desk into neat lines – then again into need-specific categories, and finally into usefulness. He had spent much of his life in exam rooms, and felt at ease with the silence that had quickly taken up the room.

With a few minutes to spare, Rodney noted the empty desk beside him. It was odd, he thought, that such a prime position be left unwanted by the hundred or so wannabe geniuses currently waiting for the clock to tick over.

Three seconds to exam start, Rodney realised that the desk he had chosen wobbled if he leant on its lower right. He scanned his immediate area for something to fold and wedge underneath it, but the only potential candidate was his exam paper. Swearing, he prepared for an immediate evacuation to the empty desk beside him.

Just as he had gathered everything together in a haphazard bundle, a flushed Colonel Samantha Carter threw a pencil case onto it which was swiftly followed by a fine spray of coffee as the Styrofoam container she was carrying protested the impact with the desk. Taking a moment to wipe her sweat laden hair from her forehead, she unzipped her pencil case, removed a stubby pencil that had been chewed at both ends, and sharpened it roughly with her combat knife.

Rodney, as if on pause, starred at the blade flashing backwards and forwards across the lead.

“Oh, afternoon Rodney,” said Sam hurriedly, as she took a sip of cold coffee.

Wasn’t she supposed to be on a mission to M8X-23O – the planet with all the dinosaurs? “Weren’t you –” he started, but Sam waved him off, conscious that the exam had just begun.

“Just got back,” she whispered, then pointed to the clock.

It took Rodney a moment to follow her slender finger to the Atlantian clock which caused him to jump in fright, subsequently dropping his pencil onto the marble floor. The pin-point lead snapped off and rolled off into oblivion. Rodney pushed his chair out with a horrid screech, then fumbled around until he retrieved it. Swearing, he re-sharpened it.

Beside him, Samantha Carter had just finished the first question and was skimming the next.

Keep it together Mckay, he berated himself quietly, and set to work on the first question.

3 and 6 Wraith = 918 Replicators

5 and 2 Wraith = 710 Replicators

1 and 8 Wraith = 98 Replicators

How many Replicators does 4 and 4 Wraith= ?

“Hmh,” Rodney grunted. That one was easy enough. 816 he wrote neatly beside the question. As he finished an elegant ‘six’, the lead from his pencil fell onto his exam paper and left a swirl of grey across the next question.

Frowning, Rodney sharpened it again – and again, and again. Every time he got the lead just the way he liked it, the graphite pillar would dislodge itself in a storm of dust and wood.

Finally, the grey stump held fast. With his pencil awkwardly small, his desk covered in shavings, and ten minutes completely wasted, Mckay examined the next question.

The Asgard have beamed you to London, England for a holiday. For spending money, they have given you £9.45.

The amount is made up of four different denominations of coins and the largest denomination is £1.

There is exactly the same number of each coin.

How many of each coin have they given you and what are their values?

The first thing that popped into Mckay’s mind was how stingy the Asgard could be. The second thing he thought of was how little he knew of European currency.

Deciding to come back to that one, Mckay skimmed down the remaining 18 questions only to fall pale with horror. He couldn’t do them – any of them. “What?” he muttered, re-reading the list. This was ridiculous! He could do Mensa tests standing on his head wearing their reversible logo T-Shirt.

Beside him, Sam looked as if she was about half-way finished. Her performance, it seemed, had not been affected by the deep gash on her right leg or the mud that crept up to her knees.

“No, No, No, No…” he whispered. As he read down the list, all the questions seemed to have changed. Sweat dripped onto his paper, making his only answer soggy and illegible.

Twenty painful minutes dragged on, and Colonel Sheppard swiped his finished paper from his desk, and wove his way to the front of the room where he handed it to the supervisor. Rodney looked at his own pitiful attempt; he had managed to answer only three questions – one of which was a guess.

Sam looked over to the horrified Mckay and smiled. She was on her final check with several minutes to spare on the clock. “You okay?” she mouthed, seeing him turn pale.

Of course, he reasoned, that was it! He had come down with an alien flu that was affecting his intelligence.

“Not so,” Keller assured him. She had suddenly appeared beside his desk holding a thermometer in his mouth.

“How did you – where did you come from?” Mckay twisted his head from side to side, but nobody else seemed able to see his new physician.

“I find you immensely attractive, Rodney,” purred Carter next to him.

Rodney swallowed with difficulty. “Something’s not right…” He nudged Keller off him, and looked back down at his question sheet. It was completely blank except for his smudged answers. “I’m hallucinating or something,” he panicked, feeling his own forehead.

“Dreaming!” he exclaimed suddenly, slapping himself across the face. It didn’t hurt one bit. Rodney blinked. “That should have woken me up…”

“Let me try,” whispered Sam beside him.

“No – I don’t think that’s a good –”

“I’m not going to hurt you,” cooed Sam, as she lent over to tap Rodney on the shoulder.

Rodney yelped.

“Rodney?” Sam tapped the sleeping scientist again.

Rodney woke with a start, knocking several items off his desk.

“Exam’s over,” she said, reaching down to hand him his perfectly sharp pencil back. “You finished twenty minutes early and decided on a nap…”

“I did?”

“You did,” she smiled. “Oh, and I guess owe you that coffee after all – seeing as you finished first.”

Rodney blinked. “You do?”

“I do… Are you alright Mckay?”

Rodney blinked a couple of times, making sure this reality held firm. “I am now,” he said finally, returning her smile.